27. Funny State: Bus Ride

It’s not sincerity or honesty that helps run a people friendly nation. It’s not even intelligence or diligence, not even power or influence…. All that’s required is sheer cheekiness in managing the situation

“The price of Gold has doubled in less than five years and people are still buying it… The land value in cities grow even more than that and I don’t see anyone complaining it. But I raise the bus charge by a mere rupee and there is a hullaballoo all over. There are cartoons parodying the transport department in every possible way, strikes, lock-outs & rallies protesting it…” Joshwa, my contemporary chief minister from neighbouring state was complaining.

Good thing that I resisted the pestering by my finance & transport minister on toeing the line of our neighbour states to raise the fare

------o------

“So where do we stand on the proposal for our new Governance centre” I asked our council about my plans for my new office I have envisaged

For all its grandeur, the existing office was just an eye candy and was very inconvenient to work in, the electricity lines, telephone and utility lines… you can modify a century old building to modern facilities only to an extent… especially when you have the penchant for modern amenities like I have. The final straw was drawn when they said they couldn’t install a voice activated shower in my personal room.

“It is not possible introduce new power lines without affecting the aesthetics or safety of the structure” said the Engineer

This is why I was sceptic about appointing this bright looking guy. You can’t get what you want if you are always wise.

“Had I given the contract to some local guy he could have done some ‘jugaad’ and installed the shower in my room” I told Pritam, who’s become my talk-to person for all these stuffs.

“But he may not have cared even if you’re electrocuted while taking shower, which our guy says is pretty much a possibility with the state of our wirings” he reasoned

Am always bad at responding to reasons of smart guys. They always counter reason when am wrong and don’t readily agree like others do. But I need to put up with them, cos the alternate choice of too much flattery makes me uncomfortable

                                                                      ------o------

I was looking from Finance to Public works minister, and no one looked like taking any effort to reply me. “What’s the status of my god-damned new office ?”

“There’s a problem…” Pritam started

“Why is that you always come to me with a problem?” I scowled, though I knew he was one of the few who were willing to approach even when it was not going to score any brownie points for them.

“We don’t have enough money” ignoring my previous ramblings

“What? We’re the government… we don’t have money build a stupid office building?”

“We used to run in negative for a while. The earlier government never planned on returning to power.” Finance opened his mouth the moment he got an opportunity to put the blame on opposition.

“Is there a possibility of improvement in few months?”

“If we raise the taxes on fuel and transport fares…” Transport began

“I just had a talk with Joshwa, he is experiencing hell in his state. I don’t want anyone repeating the same old fare-hike jokes in weeklies” I interrupted him

“So let’s at least drop the new building plan until situation improves” said Pritam

“And when will that be?” I knew there wouldn’t be any answer even before I asked the question

                                                                             ------o------

“I know you are reluctant to join my team. I understand your reservations on joining a politician’s advisory. But I need you, the country needs you” I barged into Praseed’s office that was unresponsive to my mails and calls.

“You really believe what you just said?” he was sarcastic

“Am an opportunist, I have to believe in whatever is my most beneficial stand point”

“That’s the problem, you don’t have any principles” he replied

“Come on, you know you can easily win any argument with me. I can no longer work with people who are too reluctant to speak out facts on reality….” I continued “and I know you can put a lot more of what you have learnt to practical use”

The last words should have clinched the deal. I knew that he’d never be just satisfied with giving scholarly comments about the government’s actions on daily news.

“Now I’ll have to convince Kanmani….”

“Don’t worry… she’ll say ‘yes’. I’ll speak to her” I was not sure why I felt offended by this help by him.

                                                                             ------o------

Candy (aka Kanmani) was the complete opposite of Praseed’s brooding & serious personality, she was cheerful & sociable, and one would always like to agree with whatever she says. Wherein you’d want to counter argue what Praseed says just because of the way he ridicules your level of intelligence in each of his sentences.

And that’s the main reason why I said ‘no’ when Praseed said “We have to raise the bus fares”

 “Then stop the spending” he said    

     

“I did not bring you to the team to say what we already know” he had to be shown who the boss was

“What he says is why we don’t try some indirect ways of generating revenue, ways that might assuage the heat people feel on an outright raise” Candy mollycoddled my idea to him

So after a few days of research Praseed came up with something what he said would be familiar anyone who has attended Economics 101. “Good thing for our politicos that even the most educated lot have gone through no or at the max a little exposure in the subject of economics”

“That should make much more usable knowledge material than knowing what Jawaharlal Nehru was very much fond of children” Kanmani agreed readily. I also did not miss the disapproval of Pritam on her irreverence towards the near godlike national leader

“So what’s the plan?” I cut short the intellectual gabble

So Kanmani explained to us the general premise of the idea. “They call this the price-demand curve. What it basically says is that when the price is more, people buy less, and when price is less people buy more”

“That’s so obvious, what does this has to do with our bus tickets” Pritam asked what I was going through my mind

“The price of bus tickets is similar to any other cost. So the total revenue would be the area P2Q2 for high price option and P1Q1 for low bus tickets” Praseed explained

“So you are telling that whatever I do I’ll get the same amount of money”

“Same amount of revenue, and not net cash flow” Praseed corrected me

“What does that mean?”

“Assuming more or less same cost per passenger kilometres, for the same revenue, our cash flow will be better with high price tickets”

“And I’d face the ire of public in all the media and hartals” I completed his words

“That’s why we have come up with a plan which can satisfy everyone” Kanmani came in. “They call it product differentiation in marketing terms” she continued “Instead of having revenue equal to only one area P1Q1 or P2 Q2, we can have the entire area under the demand curve”

“What should I do now? Raise the price or not?”

“Have buses at different price range so that everyone can choose their preference. So we’ll get maximum revenue and at the same time cater to all sections of people” she concluded

I knew Pritam was sceptical, but continued with the necessary procedures required for the changes.

                                                                             ------o------

 It was about six months since the changes were made in the transportation department. Though revenue had improved, it still did not make the desirable cash flow. And it did not satisfy the general public either, as they found that the more affordable buses were getting less frequent.

Since it was the first half of our term none of our party members, and even most of the opposition members cared little about the plight of a bus traveller. The only person nagging me was Govind, the Transport minister, and that too only because he was overlooked while making the decisions. His rumblings had the potential to turn into dissatisfaction among party members, but I knew development of such a situation would take considerable time and I hoped things would turn up for the better, or something would rise itself to the occasion to assuage Govind

“So why am I still faced with empty coffers?” I asked Pritam

“Think some of the assumptions we made were not accurate” Praseed suggested

“I knew it from the beginning. These theories won’t work in real life.” Pritam looked at me blamingly

“Like I said some assumptions need to be fine-tuned” Praseed repeated

“How could you think that cost of deluxe and regular buses is the same? A regular bus is crowded four times your deluxe, and they are the people we really need to cater to” Pritam continued

“This is exactly the kind of insight we are looking at” Candy tried to pacify the situation by complimenting him, “and I also think we should make the buses more attractive if we need to generate volume in premium ticket fares”

“Instead we can buy more buses so that common man and footboard travelling school children need not suffer. The rich kids will anyway have pick up vehicles” Pritam continued to argue

“The most developed country is the one where even the richest use public transport” Praseed observed

Finding that the argument goes nowhere, I stopped “So what’s the best decision?”

“The best decision is to put forth the alternate views before assembly and get consensus on what has to be done” said Govind who had just now come in. This is the sort of hyperbola that I don’t like in democracy, too slow decision making process. With my style of work handling a person which such ideas would be tricky

“Govind bhai, I give you full freedom in decision making, and I’ll back you on it irrespective of the outcome, leave the consensus making to me” I was sure he was not prepared for this sudden elevation to mantle.

“But CM bhai, I can function only based on our expert opinion.” He looked at Praseed & Candy to help him out

“So why not follow what we do in Metro trains, separate first class coaches and hence separate boarding & waiting locations” Candy came up with a suggestion

“So that they would still live in a cocoon away from the reality of ‘poor’ India?” Pritam was ready to argue anything

“Sadly, what you say is kind of right, but it serves the purpose” she smiled at him pleadingly

“Let’s give it a good name so that people don’t feel discriminated” Govind came up with a good suggestion least expected of him

                                                                             ------o------

‘Fast Lane service’ started without much fare in all the metros. I particularly insisted on making it a low pro affair so that it’s not subjected to stringent scrutiny. Services ran on select main routes which had scope for premium priced tickets. Govind as per the ‘expert’ committee had appointed a professional agency to conduct surveys to predict demand for routes

Things did improve a bit in the coffers. Though there were certain rumblings about ‘Fast lane’ eating up more of government spending, people were content since we took care that the regular services were not affected adversely. People were particularly appreciative about ‘point to point’ services to airports & railway stations matching timings of major flights & trains

Few days past I received a call from the Finance Minister at the centre. Expecting word of appreciation for the work done I greeted him cheerfully.

“Chotu, greetings” he addressed me rather grim “This is going to be rather uncomfortable. The Industrial reports for the year have just come. And the results are rather unwelcome, especially your state has marked slowdown compared to other states, especially in automobile & other sectors” things he said after dimly registered in me

For some unknown reason I remembered Pritam saying cheerfully that day ‘The roads are less crowded, more people have started preferring public transport to private vehicles’

And Govind barged into my room with urgency “The cab drivers union wants to meet you. They feel their business has come down rapidly, especially the airport services are eating into their revenues”

I recollected what the Finance Minister had told a while ago “Chotu, I appreciate all the techie things you’ve done; they are done with noble intentions. But do you think that’s the real problem with loss making public transportation? Haven’t you observed more & more private transports plying through the same routes where we make losses? Why do you think they don’t make losses?”

A leaking cauldron will not hold much. I realised how much more lay ahead of me. In Praseed’s words “Considering what I have observed in this short time, I have realised how much more the academic world has to catch up with real time economic problems”

1. Funny-state: Tiger shark

2. Funny state: Journalist journey

20. Funny State: Journalist journey

It was about a month since I had assumed the office of Chief Minister. I was waiting for the pretty journalist I met yesterday in the press meet for a candid interview in my office. The interview was a much enjoyable affair, especially in comparison with my earlier outing with Ms.Lakshmi Subramaniam, the so called ‘activist’ journalist, who drilled me with so many questions on policies and decisions. 


I just recited what uncle and his team of experts had prepared. ‘Lakku bhai’ got so frustrated with my sappy replies she snapped at a point and asked “Don’t you have anything to say without reading the prints in your hand”

I had replied “I would if you can ask questions which I can understand and are not boring” for which I get daily reprimands from uncle every day when he sees a follow-up article mentioning the said interview. My dad, the ex-CM, had been camping at the National Capital canvasing for the highest post in the country and hence had left the responsibility of monitoring my work to uncle. Being the youngest Chief Minister in the country did not seem to be a cake walk as I had imagined.

So from then on it was more or less like me doing things I was told to, speak things that were prepared for me.  I was more like a puppet commanded by the strings attached to him. My public ratings that had dropped due to wonderful words by Lakku Bhai did come back to reasonable levels. 

But I felt more bad reading those plaudits, than when I used to read the brick bats given by earlier articles. Don’t mistake me for those independent self-sufficient types, for instance I never felt bad about using my dad and uncle’s names to get to CM’s chair. Because they were part of me, but what I saw in the articles was not me, it was not who I was.

Harini introduced herself and asked “Shall we start?”

“Only if you continue smiling like this throughout the interview” Hope she was not feeling that I was hitting on her.

“Of course sir, on condition that you keep it interesting with your answers” she replied, showing her intention to fish for a scoop, which I was more than willing to.

“So what made you jump into politics at such a young age?”

“My advisors have told me to answer for this question with ‘opportunity to work for people’ and ‘bring about a positive change in the country’” she was a bit disappointed with the tame answer. So I continued “But they are all rubbish. It’s something more personal, like…” I stopped for a while to look at her eye balls running around like a mice chased by a kitten, intently watching my every movement and words.

“Like what???”

There are some things you can’t tell to a journalist, no matter how close they speak or how casual they say the interview is. I learnt it the hard way, though at a stage the stakes were much less when I look at it now.

‘Praseed’ his name was, the first journalist I have ever encountered in my life, in fact he was the first person I have met in our college as soon as I joined. Unlike others I did not have to wait in long queues of agony and suspense to get admissions. Dad gave me a few options which he felt would suit my career later (for careers he had in mind).

“Why don’t I have the top ranking colleges in this list?” I asked

“They’ll want you to study a lot, and I thought you won’t be fond of’em”

“I want to be in the rank no.1 college. After going through that two years in that boarding school up hill, think I deserve to be in one of these campuses…” I told him. I didn’t realise how silly and ironical  it’d have sounded to someone who had toiled years for the same seat and lost out.

Also I had my own reasons for choosing one of these colleges. I could see how chicks look at guys from these institutions. There’s a whole back story to it which I might tell at later stage.

But here I was, the day before the first day of the college, and I was with Praseed in the college Bank. Dad has sent me all alone (the driver who drove my car doesn’t count) to open an account in the bank. And there was Praseed in his glasses and lanky frame and inquisitive gestures. I always have the ability to find the person for the job, and the moment I saw him, I knew I had the guy for the job. And as expected he was also a new joinee and like me had come to open an account. His dad was working in some finance consultancy in Gulf and so could not come with him for the procedures.

“But it’s fun doing things all by yourself.” He said. I didn’t have to agree with him cos the need for his help was over, but I still nodded. He got Electronics, unlike me who got Computer Science. He really admired me for that, though I didn’t tell him how I got it. (I learnt much later in my life that telling that little secret would have gained me more admiration. Weird to know the admiration people have for success that comes without effort, despite all those volumes of text written on the values of hard work and meritocracy)

I did not have much of contact with Praseed except the occasional ‘hi’ and ‘watsup’ in the hostel corridors until the final year. That was when we had the serious elections. (The ones for earlier years don’t count). And Praseed by now was popular among the bookish types, a minor population and was known to be a sure shot IIM grad. (He wasn’t, went to MIT Sloan). He was running the campus journal, and though it wasn’t a master piece, it was more than worth the funds put in use, and he did a much better job than the earlier teams.

By now I had become famous in my own way, culturals, symposiums and the like. And I never participated in any elections in college, it’s better to be behind the screens and do the puppeteering. It gave me more powers and much more freedom. And so one day this kid from my neighbouring hostel, Sethu, came to me… said he wanted to run for the college President, and wanted my support. I knew he’d come to me, but he took longer to bring up the courage to approach me, probably was waiting for me to see if I’d throw my hat into the race.

“No probs, dude. Am not running” I said

“But your friend Praseed is” he said

I must have heard it wrong, how on earth did he think he’d win?

“He has a fan following, especially girls, and hence guys who want to agree with those girls” said Sethu.

One difficult thing with College politics is that unlike ‘real politics’ views of the female half count. No matter what one reads about the growing influence of women in politics, they are far and few and the major decisions and trends are still based on men based issues. Coming back to the issue at hand... I decided to speak with Praseed

Speak I did, and he repeated the same reply “It’s not like am against you or your friend who runs, I think I can do a good job and I sure think it’s definitely good for democracy to have some competition in the election” Think he had read some crap from the newspapers.

“Like what???” Harini asked me again

 “It’s not even the admiration and adulation you receive, though I don’t complain. It’s the satisfaction you get when you know what you are doing has immense significance.” I also thought of including the admiration one gets from chicks like her, but was smart enough to curtail it before the words slipped out.

Luckily she was happy with a light-hearted personal interview rather than the hot seat ‘issue’ based questions I was rammed up with otherwise.  I even told her about how unsuccessful I was in the girlfriend arena (‘Really??? girls would have thronged at such an important person’ she exclaimed) and the tea shop I used to hang around with friends (I even offered to take her there, but she politely declined)

I was really not great with girls. Though the cool guy image and the charisma of influence does make an impact on women, whenever girls gets closer they act completely different and almost all of them stop being even the earlier friendlier self.

“Girls feel that you don’t give them due respect” one of my friends said

“You act the same way like you are with us” another friend of mine said. Acting the same way with guys and girls is a bad thing? Seems so… And I almost started believing it, but one day

“You act the same with both guys and girls, that’s kind of cool” she said

“I didn’t get your name..”

“Kanmani… You can call me ‘Candy’ “ she said showing her Campus journal id card written ‘KAN.D’ on it. Her dad’s name was Devaraj, I got to know later while enquiring her, a well-known businessman in her native. “He’s basically into agri-products, but he’s considering branching out into textiles” she said

Praseed had handed over the reins of the journal to her since he was preparing for his higher studies, and also he had the foresight to mentor someone who could continue the legacy of the club.

“And why do you want my interview?” I asked her

“Because they say you are the king maker of the campus”

“Not at all, things look so because people don’t like giving credit to the winners”

“You are just being modest” she said

“What about Praseed? He never needed anything from me to get to the position he is….”

“But he’s not the college President” He wasn’t, after that day we went hell bent into making sure Sethu got elected.

Though I had nothing against him, I felt the need to show Praseed who had the real influence. May be because it was the first time I was actually upto a real challenge in college. The first few weeks after Sethu came to me for support were really trying. It seemed that everyone liked Praseed or at least found him agreeable, wherein Sethu was a lil bit off the mark in that area.

“What can I do? I can’t be a ‘sweet guy’ running errands for the profs and taking late night tuitions like him. I don’t find time even for my studies”

“So that’s going to be our sales pitch” I said

“What??”

“How can someone who’s aspiring to join an ivy league university spare time for his Presidential duties amidst his busy study schedule, and the running between profs for apping and visa centres” I asked back

The plan was set in. We invited Praseed to lecture our juniors on how to get into good colleges or higher studies. He did fall in. “Just add a bit about how difficult it’d be and how much time consuming it’d be” we told him

“It’s not that difficult, and it doesn’t take much of my time”

“Not for you, but we must impress upon our juniors the importance of hard work” he fell for it.

And in the background we had started canvasing for Sethu and telling how difficult it’d be for Praseed to fulfill his duties if he got elected.

“Do you think it’ll work” Sethu asked me. It worked… We also had a tie-up with another girl who had a lot of friends by offering her Lady Vice President post (a newly created one specially for her) to get the LH (Ladies hostel) votes

I was surprised when Candy finished the interview without any more questions. While winding off, she asked, “Tell me off the record…How do you select a person for any post”

“Off the record???“  I thought for a while, and just to sound funny, I told her “Just select a person whom you can have control on, people who might need you even after winning”

“You think Praseed may not have needed your support if he had won?”

“You might tell him that if that’d make him feel comfortable”

But it made many people uncomfortable when it was published in the journal next week. The title read “The campus Puppeteer” with my photo looking like a villain from a 80’sBollywood movie. It was the last journal before we left college.

Praseed did apologise to me for the article telling that he did not look at the journal until it was published, as he thought it’d be better to give his successors a whiff of independence in the last issue of his tenure. But the damage was already done.

Sethu became more recluse while interacting with me. When I confronted him he said “Nothing yaar.. it’s just the farewell blues…” he avoided any actual conversation. But he was never the same friend again

After a fun filled one hour (atleast for me) Harini was winding up, “So when are you going to introduce us to your team?”

“What ???”

“Ya.. Your youthful team that’ll be helping you make all those out of the box schemes you are planning..” she looked at me with those big round eyes again

“You’ll see…” I chuckled nonchalantly hiding my fidgety fingers. “And thanks for the interview, it brought back a lot of pleasant memories”

‘Do I have to form a team for myself?’ I was thinking the whole day and even during night, as the thought did not allow me to have enough peace to sleep.

I initially thought of discussing it with uncle, but decided against it. He might feel that I was getting outside his line of control. Dad would give me some ideas but I did not want to bother him with these petty issues, especially when he was busy moving coins in the centre.

What I’d want in my team would be a couple of people whom I can trust, and at the same time can expect to give sensible ideas. And also not make me feel stupid…I need to have some fun working with them too…

I opened my facebook account to browse for some friends… to select the people who’ll help me draft the policies that run the nation and bring prosperity.

Just two names came into my final list

1.   Praseed Venkatraman Econometric specialist, Stellar News
2.   Kanmani Devaraj HR consultant, HiT governance India

One for advice, one for fun !!! Am still waiting to see which of the two would first respond to my invitation to join my team. Still waiting….

17. Funny State: The Tiger Shark

These were the finishing lines of a recent article in Outlook Business

While he’s happy with the changes brought about by Nitish Kumar’s government, Doripar’s Sunder Lal misses one thing: “Development-shevelopment is okay, but we miss Laluji’s humour,” he declares. “Bada achha majaak kar lete the!”

Malabar weeks:

I always wanted to be a ‘super star’, be admired, be someone who inspires people. So I decided to star in an action flick. “Start with a family cum romantic entertainer, like DDLJ” my first director said. So I fired him, and found this new boy, who says yes to almost every change I make to ‘his’ script.

I never thought making a movie would be so easy. All I need to do was tell my dad’s secretary that I wanted to act in a movie. Having a dad who is the ex-chief minister and current cabinet minister helps.

The heroine, a newbie, imported from Kerala, sat near my chair dressed in her negligee. I love the days when they shoot the duet songs. But still wish it was the bubbly heroine from the recent box-office hit rather than ‘Malabar’ sitting near me. ‘She has dates problems sir, also having a newbie paired with you would show you in much better light’ I was told. What he didn’t tell me was that she and almost every other heroine outright cordoned off from acting with me, especially after seeing the promos of the movie, the one which has been spoofed a million times in facebook by now. I should have booked a heroine and showcased her in the promos like John (the director kid) said.  But made a note of all female actors who have rejected our offer (it’s a long list). They’ll have to pay back for the humiliation with interest.

The shooting for the dance sequence started. The song was a simple melody, and the steps were easy. ‘Malabar’ running around me and sometimes both of us doing aerobics kinda steps. By the end of the day happy & satisfied with the day’s work(?) I asked John for preview of the day’s shoot.

Perplexed, he asked “Why sir? Any problems?” This was the first time I had asked him to show the shots.

“No, I just wanna see how my first duet has come up”

I saw the video clips at home that night, and it made me speechless for a while. I called Malabar in her cell (the one I gifted her on the first day we met). She picked up after a while and greeted in a sleepy tone. “Want anything sir?”

“No. Just saw the song we made today. You were good.”

“Thanks sir”, I could see her smile even through the receivers. ”You were also extremely good” she replied

“You think so ? “

“Absolutely, I never thought someone could dance so well in their first movie, and I still doubt you saying you have never danced before”

I may not be an expert in dance, but know when a dancer sucks, and have myself made spoofs of umpteen no. of actors. I knew she was lying. Though I liked her efforts to make me feel happy, I hated that she lied to my face (or to my mobile). These are not the kind of people you could have around you if you really want to succeed. I knew what to do the next day “Good night Malabar” I wished her for the last time

The Real launch:

“I need to be the next Chief Minister. “ I told dad

“What about your movie? It’s not about the money, but having an unfinished movie would be a bad PR, especially when you have it just before entering politics.”

“It would be political and social suicide, if the movie actually saw the lights of cinema halls” I told him the obvious without mentioning I sucked “And don’t worry, I’ll take care of it”

The next day we made a relaunch of the movie, calling it ‘Real launch’. We told the media that the initial ‘reel launch’ was just a publicity gimmick for the spoof movie we make.

“The spoofs made on the ‘fake promo’ itself has given us no.of ideas for our movie” I guffawed at the reporters

Since the start of our movie, this was the first time I could see John with the burst of energy which he was when we first met. He’s a good kid, he did everything to make sure I was at good spirits throughout the shooting, yet he never lied to me blatantly like Malabar did. He had shown me that integrity can be maintained without hurting others. I knew then that he would be someone to watch out for.

The usual stuffs:

Dad had his ambitions for the highest post in the nation, and hence was looking for someone to fill his shoes in the state during the next elections. My uncle who seemed to be the heir apparent was gracious enough to step down and pave way for young blood (This is what we publicised in the media, the actual reason being the scandals on uncle the current ruling party had recently ‘unearthed’ to foil our attempt on recapturing the state)

The election campaign was the most fun part. Being the opposition party during elections is the easiest thing (next only to being a hero in a movie sponsored by your dad). All you have to do is blame the current status of the nation on the ruling government, which is nothing but stating the obvious, and ask questions to public on why we don’t have this and why we are not that, raising their still existing aspirations of living in Utopia even after facing frustration after frustration from successive governments.

Of course there were varied ploys handled by our opposition to defy my ambitions. Buoyed by the fact that he was competing against a relative novice, the existing Chief Minister ran with renewed vigour for his re-election. Lucky for me the state was in such a mis-governance that he had nothing to show that would fool the people a second time.

So the next attempt was to make personal attacks on my eligibility for the post and family politics in our party. Since he was doing this all along when his own son in forties was waiting behind for a chance to be their party’s leader, it gathered no mass. And I never defended any attacks on me, since I knew that the best way to deal with such issues is to not recognise them. And a particular tweet of a well-wisher became viral “Let’s vote for him, he’s inexperienced, and so may not be able to loot like the seniors”

Angry Young man:

But there was one young lad, Pritam, who started his own ‘Youth People’s Party’ who made some serious dent on my reputation. I initially did not give much credence to his party, since the word ‘Youth’ in the name itself alienated the vast majority of the voting population from his party. But the efforts he had taken to logically compare my eligibility with the abilities required to run a government frightened and irritated me. My dad and uncle hadn’t even completed high school, and they had been running the state for decades. How could a relative nobody question me, an Engineering graduate from one of the country’s best institutions, about my ability? (Luckily he did not dig deep enough to see how I got into the insti at first place or explore what my grades were during the four years)

And frankly I don’t understand why they make such a fuss about family politics? When they accept a business honcho names his son the Vice-President or joins him in the board, they publish the smiling dad-son duo in the covers of leading magazine, why not accept the same in issues of governance? Moreover I had watched from close quarters how they had run the government, experiences you could rarely get if you are born to a wage earner or salaried employee in some remote part of the country. And I never had the need to fight to reach the top, and it’s only the path to the top of the pyramid that corrupts and creates the need to make compromises.

The party sleuths did try to unearth some dirt on Pritam, but to no avail. He was born to a street vendor in one among the least developed districts of the state, and grew all along by scholarships he earned with his academic achievements. And to top it off, he had left a lucrative job and started a by now successful social service organisation. So we decided to get him in our party’s fold, but he flatly refused saying that he would never do such tree hops to get political gains.

So in the next public speech I declared “We need youngsters like Pritam serving for our nation. Our ideologies might differ, but motives same – welfare of our people. We’d give him a ministerial post even if he lost in his constituency or his party failed to get even a single vote”. That should have done the trick I guess; all his supporters believing that he may not win, started moving towards our party, the next best option, and it won numerous points among our supporters and neutral observers. The pre-polls showed tremendous improvements in our favour that week.

The biggest hurdle:

The biggest conflict though was internal, within the party, and most importantly within me.  Firstly many of the party seniors did not like to be subservient to a kid not even half their age. And many were appalled by my lack of knowledge on even the basic stuffs, like the party’s history, and basic nuances they considered necessary to run the party and the state. I overcame those thanks to private tea parties arranged by dad and uncle with each of the senior party heads and private classes on titbits I needed to know

But the more important issue was the conflict within, my attitude, which many times was at logger heads with anarchic sentiments and expectations of the senior men. My uncle, though himself being an old schooler, was surprisingly understanding. He’d say “If you don’t like some rule, tolerate the rule, get to the top and change the rule”. Of course there were exchange of suitcases and promise of posts. But what I learnt was that  politics, irrespective of the vast amount of money and power, was primarily about the people and their egos.

It was only few days until the election date, and though was nervous a little bit, I could feel an underlying calm. Strange are ways you feel when you know that you have all things in control, irrespective of the losses you might incur if you fail. If there is one thing that could fail me, it’d be my lack of good public speaking skills. But I have the youngsters to my backing, party folk, traditionalists, and the all-important common man and woman for my support. I could never fail….

The Tiger Shark:

As I said, my speeches were not much to boast about, and I intentionally avoided using bombastic verses written by my dad and his speech writers. Thought it no longer strikes chord with the voter public. The only interesting part of my election speech was the introduction ‘Spark’ Kumar gives me before every meeting (sorry, uncle has advised to call it a ‘confluence’).

I like this intro very much

‘Sharks can be dangerous even before they are born. One scientist was bitten by a tiger shark embryo while he was examining its pregnant mother. Let’s give welcome with thunderous applause the young tiger shark of our nation, the next Chief Minister of our state’

and I’d follow my terse speech with few questions here and there, a couple of jokes, and finally finish with the quote “I don’t want ‘my win’ in the election, I want a ‘people’s win’ for the next five years”.

And I did win, by a huge margin, but did the people win?